When I first asked my son this question, he picked “Courage”, “Strength” and “Determination.”
While these are all correct answers, there is something else that I put at the other end of the spectrum from fear.
In this video, I explain how I have now developed my own thought around this and how that has translated to the one powerful practice I have for myself and recommend to our clients to keep a positive state of mind and pursue peak performance.
This is one of those Mindset Principles that are critical to becoming the kind of business owner that can stimulate exceptional growth in your business.
Most people spend an inordinate amount of time fighting or succumbing to the realities of the present. They battle every day against the immeasurable amount of negativity outside and inside themselves. Unfortunately, they often do this without ever directly facing the realities that these fears and negative talk exist.
Whether it’s about being able to deal with pressure, developing ownership of your confidence or understanding the elements of the iceberg that help form your identity, it’s really important to understand that hard work is not enough and you must work on your “being” and not just your “doing”.
Successful people realise that they are ultimately responsible for creating a positive and driven environment for themselves – an environment where they are creating positive energy and affirmations for their own inner self.
The action I’ve explained in this video is something you can do at the end of each day. It doesn’t take more than 30 seconds but makes a huge difference to how you end the day, and how you start the following day.
This is a condensed version of the longer exercise I explain in my book, SPARKS (see below).
Prefer to read rather than watch and listen? No problem – here’s everything I said in the video as text:
3 Gratitudes Before Bed
Hi, this is Shweta from London Coaching Group what I want to talk about today is something slightly personal. I want to talk about the question that I ask my 10-year-old every night just before he goes to bed. OK. So we have a ritual between mother and son. So I tuck him in give him a nice kiss on the forehead and then I ask him a question. And the question is.
“What are your three gratitudes for today?”
To which he smiles and he gives me his three gratitudes which are different every day. And then he smiles back and looks at me and says “What are your three gratitudes mum for today?” And I’ll obviously share my three gratitudes with him which I absolutely love doing because it helps me think about the whole day and actually the good things that have happened.
But this time last night actually my son asked me saying, “So mum you’ve been doing this and why do you do this? Like, what’s what’s the reason behind it?” And that made me think because I have to explain it to him in very simple terms as to why I’m doing this every night. And I just want to share this with you. Of course, you know you can and you should be doing this. It’s a very powerful thing with your loved ones with your kids and more importantly with yourself.
The Spectrum of Fear
Now the way I explain this to him and again, to myself because I like to keep things really simple, is that actually, this is a spectrum, a line. OK. And I said let’s divide this line in half. This is one side. This is the other side. This is the midpoint.
And on one side of the spectrum is something called fear. And I I asked my son saying “What is the opposite of fear? To which he said, “Courage.” I said, “Yeah. Courage, strength determination. These are all the right things.” But then actually. As far as I’m concerned and I was sharing my philosophy with him I said the way I see the spectrum is that on the other side is something called faith.
Why Faith is the Opposite of Fear
And why faith because. Fear is when your mind is projecting negative outcomes. You’re thinking of all the things which could go wrong, or can happen. Wherein in faith, your mind is projecting positive outcomes. There is no evidence for both the things. It’s just what you decide to project. Now if this is the midpoint. The choice that one needs to make is on which side of the spectrum. One needs to play the game or live life. And the number one thing that I have found for myself and for much for my clients for them to stay in the top state of mind and to project the positive outcomes because it’s weird. You know it’s wherever your mind is projecting it starts attracting more of that. And therefore one needs to be very conscious of that especially as a person who wants to achieve more as a person who wants to build a growing enterprise and add value out there. You have to be really really careful because what you’re focusing on is what you start getting more of. So the number one thing that I’ve found very useful in terms of being on this side of the spectrum is gratitude. It’s remembering.
Now if this is the midpoint, the choice that one needs to make is on which side of the spectrum does one need to play the game or live life.
And the number one thing that I have found for myself and for much for my clients for them to stay in the top state of mind, and to project the positive outcomes… because it’s weird; you know it’s wherever your mind is projecting it starts attracting more of that and one needs to be very conscious of that especially as a person who wants to achieve more as a person who wants to build a growing enterprise and add value out there. You have to be really really careful because what you’re focusing on is what you start getting more of.
The Number One Thing To Stay on the Faith Side
So the number one thing that I’ve found very useful in terms of being on this side of the spectrum is gratitude. It’s remembering that good things are happening and good things will happen. And consciously going through the good things which have happened to you and your life and it’s a simple question doesn’t take more than 30 seconds but makes a huge difference to how you’re ending the day and how you start your next day.
Finally, when I was explaining this to my son, I said right towards the end, on this side (the fear side) life happens to you. But on this side (the faith side) life happens for you. And he said that’s a change of prepositions.
I said yes. But it’s actually a huge change in belief system. And that’s what makes a difference because it all starts from what you believe in.
Order Your Free Copy of SPARKS
The Mindset exercise I’ve described here is a condensed version of a longer exercise that I explain in the first chapter of my book SPARKS. While the book does delve into other Mindset principles, I also give you further pieces on the 6 areas that I help businesses focus on in order to achieve growth sooner rather than later.
Use the button below to grab your free copy of the book – you only need to pay the shipping / handling costs!